Where Loss Begins, Grief Could Follow

Loss has many shapes. Some losses are loud, breaking the air with sorrow and pain. Others are soft, almost invisible, hidden from the public's eye, yet still there.

I have witnessed loss and the grief that followed in many forms: a wife who lost her husband to illness, a colleague who mourned a missed job opportunity, a person who was forced to leave behind home and identity, a friend who said goodbye to her father, a woman who lost her child in the fifth month of pregnancy, a pet owner who grieved a loyal companion, an acquaintance who lost the ability to walk after a motorbike accident, and a devoted partner who was heartbroken by the break of their marriage due to infidelity.

The stories are different, yet the same: they carry absence, longing, grieving, and the slow reshaping of life around what is gone. Put in a diagram, those losses can be divided into seven categories.

While exploring the literature for each type of loss, the information made me think and reflect, and I hope that you find them interesting, too. Below are a few evidence-based studies under each topic.

Loss of a parent/relative

I found the recent paper by Chan, Lee, and Tsing (2025) on grieving adults particularly thought-provoking. The study revealed that even individuals in late adulthood, whose parents passed away in their eighties or nineties, viewed their parents’ deaths as sudden and unjust. For some participants, one of the greatest challenges was the loss of unconditional love and support that they thought could only come from their parents. Others expressed feelings of loneliness, especially those who had lived with or regularly cared for their deceased parents. This raises an important question: is this reaction shaped by cultural context, given that the research was conducted in Hong Kong, or is it a universal experience that we in Western societies can relate to as well?

Loss of a child

Research clearly shows that the loss of a child might occur due to many reasons. You might lose a child due to miscarriage, due to illness, or due to an accident. However, I believe the most striking recent case that I am sure most of you read about is that of Adam, who suicided with the help of OpenAI.

Loss of a child due to suicide brings an incredible dilemma for the parents: Was I good enough? What did I do wrong? It can evoke a complex mix of difficult emotions: guilt, shame, confusion, anger, and many others (Young et al., 2012). In my opinion, calming a parent's heart after such an event is one of the most profound challenges and requires a long time. It requires a lot of patience and support from people around those individuals. The question is: Is society ready to invest significant time and support, while accepting that these individuals will experience ups and downs and may not always perform at their best in daily work?

Loss of a partner

I found the research project LIVES on Intimate Partner Loss very interesting. One part of the collected self-reported data questioned 388 adults about their willingness to search for professional support after the loss of an intimate partner. The results showed that professional help-seeking was higher after separation (57%) and divorce (49%), compared to widowhood (18%) (Jopp et al, 2021). The question remains: why are widowed individuals less likely to search for help?

Loss of an animal

This topic was explored in detail in my previous blog post. You can read my thoughts on it and find evidence-based information in it.

Loss of a job

Many people may not realise the connection between job loss and grief. It is not only connected, but it can lead to complicated grief (Eeresel, Taris, Boelen, 2020). Complicated grief is defined as a reaction in response to death that is profoundly overwhelming, and the passage of time fails to lessen the emotional suffering or restore normal functioning (APA, 2025). Interestingly, several factors may lead to the development of complicated grief. A study of 485 Dutch workers, who had experienced job loss, identified three potential risk factors: 1) holding a belief that the world is unjust, 2) having low self-esteem, and 3) relying on maladaptive coping strategies. I wonder, could support from loved ones help in this process? What are the safety net factors?

Loss of health/ certain abilities

I was touched by the story of the 37-year-old woman with Multiple Sclerosis (Moghadasi, 2019). Through the paintings, the lady expressed her perception and grief regarding her progressive disability. The balloon she drew represents the farewell to her former abilities and the better days of the past. She tries to come to terms with the fact that she lost her old life and abilities. In a way, her ability to draw helps to express her feelings. I wonder what it must be like for people who don’t have art as an outlet to express their frustration about losing their health. And does this kind of experience also apply to other health challenges?

Loss of home/ identity due to migration

Migration can involve a range of losses, which can be categorized as interpersonal, material, and abstract (Renner, Schmidt, & Kersting, 2024). Interpersonal losses refer to the loss of relatives and friends, material losses include the loss of home and income, and abstract losses encompass the loss of status, social roles, identity, language, plans, dreams, or the familiarity of one’s surroundings. Such losses may result in profound grief experiences. Nevertheless, this area remains under-researched; a recent systematic review identified only five studies on the subject, and their overall quality was low (Renner, Schmidt, & Kersting, 2024).

Short, important conclusion and a further question

The same truth applies to every kind of loss: it’s never easy to part with someone or something that truly matters. Yet, an important question arises—does every kind of loss inevitably bring grief, or can some losses also bring relief or even both? I leave this for you to reflect on, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

References :

APA (2025) APA Dictionary of Psychology, Available at: APA Dictionary of Psychology

Chan W.C.H , Leeb W.C., Tsing R. W. M (2025). Grieving the loss of parents: A qualitative study of bereaved adult children who received professional support, doi: https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2025.2513986

Moghadasi A. (2019) "Disability Grief": A patient's allegorical expression of her disability, Iran J Neurol, 18(4):190–191.

Renner A, Schmidt V, Kersting A (2024). Migratory grief: a systematic review. Front Psychiatry. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1303847

Jopp D., Lampraki C, Meystre C, Znoj H, Brodbeck J (2021). Professional Support After Partner Loss: Likelihood and Correlates of Help-Seeking Behavior, doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2021.767794

Young T.I., Iglewicz A., Glorioso D., Lanouette N., Seay K, Ilapakurti M, Zisook S. (2012). Suicide bereavement and complicated grief. doi: 10.31887/DCNS.2012.14.2/iyoung

Van Eersel J, Taris T, Boelen P (2020) Complicated grief following job loss: Risk factors for its development and maintenance. doi: 10.1111/sjop.12650